Southerners are known to be able to turn a phrase. Judge Martin Sheehan appears to be keeping this tradition alive. Here is just a snippet from an Order he recently entered in the case of Kissel v. Schwartz.
Such news of an amicable settlement made this court happier than a tick on a fat dog because it is otherwise busier than a one legged cat in a sandbox and, quite frankly, would have rather jumped naked off a 12 foot step ladder into a five gallon bucket of porcupines than have presided over a two week trial . . which, no doubt, would have made the jury more confused than a hungry baby in a topless bar and made the parties and their attorneys madder than mosquitoes in a mannequin factory.
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