Legal Humor

“Happier Than a Tick on a Fat Dog” (Kissel v. Schwartz Order)

August 7, 2011
By Woodruff

Southerners are known to be able to turn a phrase. Judge Martin Sheehan appears to be keeping this tradition alive. Here is just a snippet from an Order he recently entered in the case of Kissel v. Schwartz. Such news of an amicable settlement made this court happier than a tick on a...
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Lawsuit of the Month

July 30, 2011
By Woodruff

According to the Complaint, the term “inmate” “mplies that our brother is locked up for the purpose of mating with other men.” I am speechless. Domond v. New York State Department of Corrections(function() { var scribd = document.createElement("script"); scribd.type = "text/javascript"; scribd.async = true; scribd.src = "http://www.scribd.com/javascripts/embed_code/inject.js"; var s = document.getElementsByTagName("script"); s.parentNode.insertBefore(scribd, s); })();
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Order to Get a Life

June 27, 2011
By Woodruff

Get a Life(function() { var scribd = document.createElement("script"); scribd.type = "text/javascript"; scribd.async = true; scribd.src = "http://www.scribd.com/javascripts/embed_code/inject.js"; var s = document.getElementsByTagName("script"); s.parentNode.insertBefore(scribd, s); })();
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Poetry from the SCOTUS

June 2, 2011
By Woodruff
Poetry from the SCOTUS

“The juice is not worth the squeeze, . . . .” – McConnell v. FEC, 540 U.S. 93, 259 (2003) (Scalia, J. dissenting).
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A Motion in Limine like no other

May 23, 2011
By Woodruff

It is amazing what trial tactics a creative lawyer will use to win a case. Motion in Limine Bar Companion(function() { var scribd = document.createElement("script"); scribd.type = "text/javascript"; scribd.async = true; scribd.src = "http://www.scribd.com/javascripts/embed_code/inject.js"; var s = document.getElementsByTagName("script"); s.parentNode.insertBefore(scribd, s); })();
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4,000 Billable Hours Per Year?

April 23, 2011
By Woodruff

All I know is that 4,000 billable hours per year is a lot of hours. “The fee request includes one $925/hour attorney who claims to have billed over 28,000 hours in seven years, including a 28.5-hour day.” Center for Class Action Fairness
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Motion to Speak Like a Proper Texan

March 21, 2011
By Woodruff

Motion_to_Compel Englishness(function() { var scribd = document.createElement("script"); scribd.type = "text/javascript"; scribd.async = true; scribd.src = "/javascripts/embed_code/inject.js?1300479309"; var s = document.getElementsByTagName("script"); s.parentNode.insertBefore(scribd, s); })();
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Funny Lawyer Commercials

February 17, 2011
By Woodruff

Lawyer advertising can provide hours of entertainment. Really, it can. One of these is fake, the other real.
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Incomprehensible

February 14, 2011
By Woodruff

Judges and their staffs deal with immense case loads. Knowing this, you should always be mindful of their time when preparing motions. Always proofread your motions for both grammar and content before submitting them to the court. Otherwise, you might get an order from the court quoting a rather insulting line from a very...
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Moments in the History of Pleadings

January 24, 2011
By Woodruff

Pleadings can take many forms. Sometimes these documents are not the most professional. Here is an example of one of those unprofessional pleadings. It was handwritten and filed by a Texas lawyer back in 1985. texasdivorce
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